The story about beer and caffeine

The story about beer and caffeine

Coffee with the Nutcracker is always an amusing episode. I suppose you could call the Nutcracker my original fag-hag, but she's so much more than that. She's the one who pledged to take care of me when I'm old and decrepit without a mate and probably dying of some debilitating disease. And she has a wicked sense of humour. And a lovely ego like mine.

We compliment each other perfectly.

Nutcracker: So, InsipidWoman is probably sleeping with the xerox guy.

CT, scalding tongue on hot coffee: YOWCH!

Nutcracker, sighing: Funny, na? I thought so too.

CT: So what's the latest on your cyber romance case?

Nutcracker: Bored. What about your one?

CT: Turned out to be fat and forty with a bent for the S&Ms.

Nutcracker: I prefer the M&Ms. (giggle)

CT: So do I.

CT: You wanna dance somewhere?

Nutcracker: I wanna get drunk.

So, there we go to Ghettoes, sitting in a space near the pool table, downing a pitcher of chilled beer, and unwittingly become drawn into the conversation of the big gaggle of dumbasses next to us. They're pretty dumbasses, so it's actually much worse.

Dumbass 1: Meet, Rahul... he's my sweeeeetttoooo!

Dumbass 2: Ooooooo, hiiiiiii!!

Dumbass 3, who's also Rahul: I want vodka. Anyone want vodka?

Dumbass 4: I need to go the loo. Sooooooooo bad.

Dumbass 1: I loooooooove your shirt, Rahul.

Dumbass 3: Vodka? Gin? Rum? Beer? WHHHHHAAAATTT???

Dumbass 2: O, the bartender's soooooooo hot! So, what are you doing later tonight, Rahul?

Dumbass 4: Will anyone else come with me to the loo?

CT and Nutcracker: (snigger!)