Ahem, ahem. End of the year, and most people have resolutions. I decided to clear up my phone book. Yes, again. Somehow, each time after i do it, it gets cluttered again. So here, I decided to show you my list of the ones jettissoned.
I'm sorry, it's a kinda long list.
1. Andheri CA. We chatted on cyberspace, eons ago. Decided to meet up for coffee and a hook-up... sometime. Sometime never came. Spoke on the phone, tried to meet up, but never managed. Flush.
2. Ally Churchgate. Older man. From the period in my life when I was in a "I hate myself and I'm only fit to be used for sexual joy of others". Surprisingly, he turned out to be a nice old guy. But I'm back to liking myself now.
3. Anil Muscles. Oldish again. Chatted online and then on the phone. Only a couple of times. He lives far, far away, and I hate travelling to the suburbs.
4. Raj. Wild goosechase person. Supposedly, a flight attendant. With a name that can be found in any old Yashraj movie. Coordinated endlessly to meet, but always ditched in the end. So I got exasperated and decided to call it a day. Good riddance.
5. D/d's Ex. I liked him as a person. Till the shoddy way he treated d/d. Asta la vista, bab-eh!
6. Dilliwalla Traveller. Suppoedly a GK-II breed. Came down to Bambai for a dip. called on the phone and said he'd call back later, as he was getting another call on the line. Never did. Ho-hum.
7. Juhu Artist. Has to be said: was very interesting on chat. Bustling schedules, though, make it hard to meet. Plus, the Faraway Suburb Factor. Ta-ta.
8. Punewalla Visitor. Chatted with him both online and on the phone ages back. Another Andheri resident, so meeting never happened. Saw him recently at a party, and discovered he's in a relationship. Good for him.
9. Bandra Stylist. Freaky conversations about eating spiders and drinking blood. Date at Brijwasi, Bandra. Nice person, but scary. Saw him later in the newspaper. No regrets at all.
10. Call Centre Boy. lol. They're a breed apart. But this one was nice. Sweet, actually. Couldn't talk much English, but sweet nonetheless. But I'm not in that space anymore. I wish him all the very best.
11. Doc Matunga. has a boyfriend. Screws on the side. That's what you call an 'open relationship' in amchi Mumbai. Convenient. One night stand.
12. Doc Andheri. Sweet. Has old fashioned notions about emotional involvement in a one night stand. Ridiculous.
13. First Party Boy. Went back home with him, after my first GB party in town. Had an 'out-of-town reference' for him, from Delhi Ex No 2. was quite sad, though, when, after a night and morning of mindblowing sex, he never called me back. saved his number all this time for sentimental reasons. Mental reasons.
14. Byculla Boy. Mozzie. What they call 'pure top' in gay lingo. Awful. One afternoon stand. and good riddance.
15. Intrepid Reporter. Well, he tracks Bollywood sitaarein on a regular basis. used to come for yoga classes at a joint near where I live, and we made countless appointments to meet, but the story's the same. Not meant to be.
16. Dadar Parsi. Nice chap. Student. My Ex hit on him once, last Christmas, but when I met him later in person, I wasn't attracted to him at all. And besides, I can't stand younger guys. Not even for one-nighters, apparently.
17. K. Have no idea who he is.
18. Telephone Boy. Because he works for a telephone operator service. Met him in the course of a menage a troi some months back, and the boy professed clinging adoration for me. Freaked me out, and I ran. Fast.
19. Mac. Suburb too far away to travel to. And, anyway, once I met him in person at a GB party, I decided it wasn't worth the effort. Meaow.
20. Rahul. Together with Raj, the other favourite false name in gay circles. He works in TV, he said, and was quite charming on chat. Spoke on the telephone as well, but only once. The charm disappeared when I learnt that I had to travel to Powai to meet him.
21. Punjabi Munda. Decidedly hot. Decidedly young and immature. Would love to have a one night stand, but when he spoke continually about Squeeze and Bed and threesomes and foursomes, I decided I feel very old at 24. Think I posted about this, earlier.
22. Finance Consultant. When I heard his profession, I licked my lips in anticipation. Plus, he worked not too far away from me. However, like so many others, he seemed elusive to actually meet in person, since he kept on cancelling dates. When he suddenly asked me out on the weekend without ever meeting me, I decided it was a sad state of affairs, and called it quits.
23. Shrek. The ex of an acquaintance. Well, I met him online before the acquaintance did, but they started dating, so I pulled away. Met him ages afterwards, and he came over for his one-night stand with videos, toys and condoms. Nice night.
24. Liar. Because I met him online twice, on separate occassions, under two separate names. And he lied again, saying it wasn't him. Because he pissed me off by being rude on the phone and I decided, no screw is worth all this trouble. So the phone got slammed down on him.