Wedding bells

Wedding bells

The other day, I went to a wedding with my Chimneypot (nee Nutcracker) and we even did the Wedding March. It was great fun, as we'd tanked up on ruby red sparkling wine before that, and the sumptuous high was aided by the simply delicious caramel chocolates that had been placed beside each guest's plate. And yes, I truly adore Christian weddings now...!

But Chimneypot was a bridesmaid, and so she was always going away now and then to ghus-phus with the other bridesmaids. After trip No. 3 or 4, she says very shamefacedly, "They all think you're my boyfriend. They keep asking me if you are."

CT, bored, as this has happened countless times before: "Yawn, yawn. Yes, and the maid of honour has got such a SEXY boyfriend."

Chimneypot, whining now: "But they think you're my boyfriend...!"

CT, intrigued now: "So let's pretend...! Let's play that game."

Chimneypot, interested a bit: "Should we?"

CT: "Of course we must. Now join me in bitching about that ugly mug of a maid in honour."

Chimneypot, giggling over her fourth glass of wine: "She walks on those frikkin' heels as if she were an ostrich!"

CT, giggling now too: "She certainly has the legs of one!"

Chimneypot: "And that fat arse of hers could fit a football yard in. No wonder she got all the boys in London, when *Blushing Bride* didn't!"

CT: "I'm in love with her boyfriend. Can I kill her?"

When we proceeded to join the Wedding March, you could see my office mates' eyes pop, and even Blushing Bride was suitably surprised, though she knows I'm gay. We ate our dinner together, standing in a corner, and yapping. I went out of the hall with Chimneypot when she wanted to smoke, and when we came back, Ugly Maid of Honour was peering intently at her dress for signs of upheaval. When the DJ started playing Rouge later at night, Chimneypot and I did the dirty dance, forgetting that we had some middle class Aunties staring at us.... and I'm not just talking about Ugly Maid of Honour here.

;-)

Strange. I guess heteros will never understand that *thing* which gay men and fag hags have. We're special for each other, to each other. I'm not sure I get the whole picture myself.