Picture this

Picture this

There's been so much furore/squibbling/speculation about the famous pic and the famous boxer shots, that I thought I'd make it the subject of a post. Phal calls it the "scandalous pic", Guppie says I look like a slut in it, and d/d frankly calls me "nanga" when he comes online and sees me there.

;-)

Terrible, actually, but the fact of the matter is that I just don't have a decent picture online to seduce the other hopefuls.

I have five pictures online. The first picture is a closeup of my face some eons back in the college canteen, where I flash my pearly whites. Killer smile, but the online connoisseurs say, it makes me look chubby. Aaa, it's a throwback to my college days when I weighed in a at a hefty 77 kg, so I suppose the connoisseurs are justified in that take.

Then, there's the picture from last Christmas, when I visited the Sunderbans with family. This one shows me straddling (love that word!) a boat, and smiling gleefully, hair windblown and all. But of course, this was winter, so I was wearing a chunky woollen turtleneck, so even though I was a very svelte 62 kgs by the time this pic was taken, I look well... hefty again. Damn.

If you thought I was going to be third time lucky, you're sadly mistaken. This one has me on Marve beach about three years back, so it's a facial close-up of The Podge once again, albeit with gleaming Pepsodent smile. To make matters worse, it was raining that day on Marve, so I'm wearing my hooded jacket and smiling, looking like Darth Vader who's slipped off the diet wagon. Not very seductive, you understand.

Onto number four. Hyderabad. This is studious me. Thin, yes. Not a close-up, yes. Great view of the Charminar framed behind me. But... sigh. I'd gone to Hyderabad that time with friends for a job interview, and the pic was taken after the interview, so there you have me looking quite undernourished, completely shabby spectacles, shirt looking quite worn, your neighbourhood courier guy. Compare and contrast with the pictures other cute men have online, all polished and studio shots or sexy sleevless tees, and I lag hopelessly behind in the attractive segment.

Which finally leads me to the "nanga" pic. By this time, I'd had enough. So, I roped in a helpful friend who's moved out of Bombay since then, and went over to his place to make use of his digicam. What followed was an hour long session of posing in black cord shorts, underwear, sheets and even curtains. We experimented with lighting, played with composition and tripped on style. When we examined the pictures later, it was a laugh riot. I hit my friend on the head and told him he was completely hopeless, and he agreed. The only bit of salvageable material was the (in)famous "nanga" pic.

Actually, when you come to think of it, there's nothing much too scandalous about it - especially when you check out all the pictures other hot men have. It has me in this funny inverse pose on a staircase, wearing the black cord shots, and yes, nothing else. I'm smling beatifically at the camera, but let me assue you, it was bloody torture holding that silly pose for the full five minutes my pal was taking with the snap, and I was cursing him silly under that smile. I labelled the pic on gay.com, Chocolate?, and yes, I've had a lot of associated corny comments thrown my way, by prospective mates when they see it.

But here's the rub: I may not look hefty in that pic, and I may even be exposing some saleable skin there, but... my hair's not like that anymore. At that time, I'd decided to experiment, and shaved my hair down to a buzz cut. Punk from Gay Bombay? ;-) And so, now, whenever I get those corny comments about chocolate, I have to hurry and add, that my hair is quite 'normal' now, and not like in the pic - at which point, they look confusedly at the other pictures and shake their head perplexed.

Losing battle, but o, I do plan to get buzzed soon.