Commenting on the last post, dear Iz was kind enough to say that I have the required spirit for a 'bomgay' of sorts. And yet, the other day, over a bowl of chicken khichdi and a dvd of "The Object of my Affection" (word of advice: read the book instead), SnowWhite's Stepmother and I were discussing how there seems to be a role reversal of sorts between us: how, all of a sudden, I was the one shying away from multiple sexual encounters and orgies, and he was the one getting drunk and humping Andheri hunks.
This evening, I was listening to some classic Madonna, and there was this one track where she reaffirms "You think you destroyed my faith in love... you'll see!", and I thought to myself, I used to be like that. I used to be this guy who would bounce back from heart ache, fully confident of finding the right guy at the right time. And yet, this time around, it's just not there - the expectation. Somehow, I realize, I've become this cynic that I always thought I'd never be. Somehow, I just don't see much of love happening... and all those jokes about never finding the right guy suddenly don't appear funny anymore. They're not funny, but they're not depressingly sad either - they're just... numb.
The thing is, the cynic in me thinks that all the guys these days are dolts or dimwits or disturbingly yucky. So, none of them are Mr. Right. That's ok - I used to have a convenient Mr Right-Now theory for that, but the cynic in me is now on high gear and reasoning, you've seen all the One Night Stand options out there and it's clear they're crappy too, or it's the same old thing, so aren't you just bored?
And, yes, I am.
So, even though I go online practically every day, chat and exchange numbers with some semi-cute random guys, I never call them or store their numbers. I'm more interested in chatting online with the guy I can fix up a date with for next week, rather than go out and meet the guy I'd fixed up a date with for this week. And when they call/ sms me and go "Remember? We met on so-and-so date on such-and-such chatroom?", I go, "O, yea, hi dude, am at work now, can I call you back?" And of course, I don't.
The other day, one of these random guys calls me, and informs me he's arranging a threesome at some Bangalore guy's hotel, and he wants me to come. So, I think about it, and tell my cynical self to get lost, that I haven't done a threesome in a while, and I call this guy back to confirm. That's when he tells me, he now has 8 guys coming to the hotel, and I'd be a welcome 9th. I panicked. I made my apologies and hung up on him so fast you'd think this was Closetalk the Novice Gay Boy in Bombay.
And, of course there are exceptions. Which usually happen when I'm traveling, and shagging a guy from wherever I'm going is just part-and-parcel of the trip, like packing, so no real thrills, per se. Like, on my day trip to small Gujarati town today, I brought back this absolutely ripped hunky Gujju boy to my hotel room for some fun and games. Totally sweet, totally lacking in taste, totally hunky, totally delicious, and I'm so totally never going to see/ sms/ talk to him again.
I'm not sure which one is Dr Jeckyll and which one is Mr. Hyde.
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