So ok, I'm sitting and watching the telecast of the Gladrags Megamodel and Manhunt contest right now on Star One. Please don't hate me: I'm not always this retarded, but sometimes I like to play the role of the Gay Dunderhead. *sigh*
What isss to be doingsss?
Anyhow, the way I see it, Gladrags is a highly gay themed show. Why? Well, decide for yourself: hot babes in bikinis, Maureen Wadia, dumb hunks in bikinis, Pooja Bedi, sarong-pyjamas falling of dumb hunks, John Abraham, fashion shows, Arjun Rampal, the hyper-active younger Meet brother performing at the show who kept jhatkaoing his hips, and yes, again, John Abraham. *drool*
TRING! TRING! It's Boy.
CT: "Hey sexy, I'm looking at hot almost-naked hunks strutting over here. They're dancing and shaking their groins a lot."
Boy, a bit alarmed: "What?! Where are you?"
CT: "At home only, baba. I'm not that pretty to invited for orgies like that, you know. *titter* It's the Gladrags Manhunt Contest on TV."
Boy, (do I hear him sigh in relief, and should I feel offended that he apparently agrees I'm not orgy-hot?!): "O, OK... you're watching TV..."
CT: "O,ooooo... these guys are actually wearing sheer leopard printed sarong-pyjamas, and this guy's thingy just fell off, so he's dancing in teeny-weeny black speedos!"
Boy, getting into the groove now: "Ooooo... do you have popcorn with you? This sounds like fun!"
Aaa, well, yes, fun it is. And that's another one of the things that's gay about Gladrags. The fact that all these straight men, just because it's the much-awaited swimsuit round, start grooving and dancing and twisting their bodies and pumping their muscles, as if they're in some teeny overcrowded alley of Bangkok's seediest red light area. I mean, come ON guys! So you're modelling for a swimsuit, but you don't need to get all jiggy with it, just cuz they're playing Black Eyed Peas!
All those gay hooker moves are funniest when you consider the opening lines they gave when they first walked out on the stage. 1. "Hi, I'm so-and-so and I have been wanting to come to this event since I was 17, and now 6 years later, I am here, and I pray by the grace of God who watches over my family, that I win..." 2. "I don't believe in winning and losing concepts, What really matters is that you try your best, and that is what I will do. I am a simple boy from Patiala, and I want to do my country proud by winning this title"... Yea? What title? Mr Bang-Cock 2006?! 3. "I quote - A bird flies yonder/ aching to break free/ to soar/ to leap/ to see - ladies and gentlemen, that bird is me."
Yes, That bird is you, dude. Cuckoo.
Observed: Maureen Wadia of course must seat herself between Arjun Rampal and John. John was looking divine in his spanking new haircut, and was quite open-mouthed when the Megamodel gals started doing the ramp in their swimwear round, and Arjun's white shirt was perennially open to his belly button - not that I'm complaining. Maureen Hag was routinely whispering thingys to both her boytoys. I love that woman. *giggle*
Observed Again: Most of the judges were having a ball, while the others were just plain bored, and Sabina Chopra looked pained. Riteish Desmukh has a new haircut as well, but is still as sad as ever. Was giggling continuously with the persona non grata next to him. The only judge who looked remotely interested in judging was (don't faint!) Pooja Bedi. (She looked quite shocked at the final choices, by the way.) Maureen was probably wondering what services she would extract from the three boys (read: winners) delivered to her room that night. I love that woman. *giggle*
Observed Over and Over Again: Jeh Wadia of Go AIR fame, sitting behind the judges, looking quite flustered. What is mummy upto tonight?! But, o good god, where o where was dreamboat brother Ness? *swoons*
Overheard: The answers in the Question Round. ROTFLMAO. Do people actually have so little brains collectively? Riteish asked his boy, what is the biggest problem in the world that needs to be solved, and please don't say poverty? The boy replied "women!", and just when the audience started clapping and sighing that finally there was one with a sense of humour, he spoiled it all, by copying Answer No. 2046 from the Ms World Handbook about women's education upliftment. *groan*.
John was best: after his first question got used up, he asked What is global warming and how is it caused? As soon as the dumbo boy answered, Yes it is a real problem, it happens because there is too much pollution because of cars and all, John baba thought we shouldn't really expect too much and put in a quick, O that's right, thank you for answering that question very well. Huh, wazzat! Ummm.. wasn't John baba one of the Gladrags crowd as well, at one time, now? *chuckles*
Lost and Forgotten: The Megamodel gals contest. What, where, who, why???
Best part of the event: Shivani Kashyap's performance (I lurrrve her voice, absolutely!) and Jon of course.
Update: OK, so the show's over, and does anyone really want to know who won, since they're all U-G-L-Y? The cutest guy, one Vikrant Oberoi, was saddled with Mr Congeniality and that's it. Bah!
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