I used to live in a part of Chennai called Kodambakkam. A quiet part of town, and possibly the only notable thing about it was that a lot of Kollywood film stars and singers lived nearby, and the place was also supposed to be inhabited by the most famous Thunder Thigh Madams of the south Indian porn industry.
Very colourful neighbourhood. And of course, I thought it was my solemn duty to add to the colour with my own special brand of Rainbow.
Closetalk in Chennai was quite the shy persona. The hidden chap who used to have sex furtively, rush out to the neighbourhood cyber cafe to get online and search out possible mates. In those days, I hadn't discovered either gay.com or gaydar.co.uk, and so was stuck with Indiatimes.com. There was a chhottu Chennai room in the website's gay section, and this is where all the denizens of the Chennai gay world congregated. To talk about asls and prefs and mushes and available places and likes and dislikes. Your average profile description would go something like:
28 yo, hot guy with mush, look like Rajni, I like smooching, kissing, body sex, no annals, I like to get sucked but don't like doing, will fuck if you want, have hairy body, 5'7", 75 kg, nice lips, 34 wst, am handsome guy looking for cute boy.
Concise. When a puzzled Closetalk would ask what having a mush meant, that would result in some even more puzzled respondents getting back with: Mush? A Mush is a Mush, da! You know what a mush is!
Trouble was, I knew that da was the local lingo for friend, but I still had no clue what mush signified, till after about six to seven meetings when the genius tube light brain of mine figured out that the puzzled respondents had (in amazing brevity) shortened Moustache to Mush. Sometimes, the results were alarming, as I would stare horrified at the Veerappan clone standing outside my door, expecting me to indulge in "smooching, kissing, body sex, no annals..." with him.
Of course, it wasn't always like that. There are loads of cute and hot gay men in the torrid city of Chennai, nee Madras. And they would be all kinds - Palakars, Iyengars, Mallus et al, who would line up to have sex with what they perceived as a 'North Indian'. I used to find it all very funny actually, their enthusiasm for anyone who enters the chatroom and declares boldly that he is "North Indian, da" - within minutes, the guy would receive hits upon hits and would probably have his share of Veerappans and cute South Indian Brahmins to last a whole week. What was funnier was that anything and anyone north of the Vindhyas would be classified as a "Northie", even though he may not be strictly speaking from the Hindi heartland.
Prospective Mate: "So, you're not from Tamil Nadu, are you?"
CT, typing and praying that PM doesn't have a Mush: "Er, no, I'm from Calcutta. Living here in Chennai for awhile."
PM, with renewed interest: "O-ho! So you're a northie? That's good. You must be expert at sex!"
CT, pleased that his expertise has been recognized, but still puzzled: "Er, thanks. But no, I'm not North Indian. I'm from Calcutta in West Bengal. That's in the east."
PM, not bothered: "No matter. You're a northie. So what all do you like in sex?"
The Bangalorean exports came a close second to the 'Northie' in terms of the hot' factor for most Chennai gay men. But Bangaloreans did not mean Kannadigas. There was a difference here. Meanwhile, Malayalis were supposed to have sensual lips and be tigers in bed. So, as soon as you mentioned that you'd recently alighted from a train coming from Bangalore, or anywhere in Kerala, or anywhere north of the VIndhyas, you were automatically invested with the powers of a sexual demigod.
I believe, the correct expression to use here is: Wheeeeeeeee!
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