A lot of strange things about gay men. Why do so many of us find vampires sexy - as evident from the widespread approval to the last post. Why do so many of us aspire to look beautiful? The word was beautiful, not attractive, mind you. What makes so many of us think we're the cat's pyjamas when it comes to taste - and are careful to say that vertical stripes are very Last Season. Why do so many of us long for love - while quite happy with shady couplings in the dark every three to four days. Why are so many of us complex, with severe complexes of our own.
Full stop. No question-mark there.
This past week has seen me mending bridges with a close friend whom I threatened to rechristen ComplexBoy. Of course, he balked at the prospect, even though he acknowledged privately that he fitted the job description. But, I thought, rather than bringing an unwilling participant into the limelight, let me take the opportunity to be honest, and present some of my own complexes:
1. The ego. It looms large over me and is often the master source of several of my other complexes. The good thing about Boy and I is that we both recognize the other's ego, and we know how to work with/around it.
2. One night stands are fine by me and do not affect the ego, but if I am made aware that I am placed/displaced because of someone else, the ego kicks in and I in turn kick the ONS goodbye. Have bid adieu to several such ONS' in the past.
3. Sometimes, I switch off. Just like that. Don't mind me, please. I'll be fine in about thirty minutes or so. But for those thirty minutes, don't bug me.
4. I love money. I always calculate the cost behind a thing. Horrible habit, but I do that. Not that I was severely deprived of money while growing up, but... I always tell myself that you can only not give a damn about money if you have a lot of it - and I don't fit that category. As a result, when I've gone out on a date with a guy who's rich and who loves spending a lot, I always feel very self conscious.
5. I don't go for guys who look very young. Twinks don't do it for me. On the other extreme, I actually don't go for guys who're very old - though I must confess, I once slept with a fifty-eight year old.
6. I usually don't relate well on a date with someone who's too chatty. Then, it feels like I'm chatting to the Cheshire Cat, and I feel like breaking his teeth. People who presume too much about me at the very onset also end up being discarded by the wayside usually.
7. I always think I'm gaining weight. I probably am. But that doesn't stop me from pigging out, either. White and dark chocolate mousse are my faves. O, but no, I would never go for a fat guy. Over the years, however, I've reconciled myself to the fact that there are loads of hot men with pot bellies, and I have taught myself to ignore a pot belly if it's marginal and the guy is cute. *cue for a sigh here.*
8. I hate the classification of tops and bottoms, and that ridiculous habit of calling someone 'dear'. At the very onset I tell the ONS that I don't like classification by 'top/btm' and he is not to ever call me 'dear', if he doesn't want broken balls. Boy, thankully, doesn't do either. ;-)
9. I hate eating before sex. I would much rather have sex on a keen, hungry stomach, and then pig out afterwards. That's why, whenever Boy and I went out on a dinner date, after coming back we would dance and talk or go on a long walk or something, and only then get into the mood.
10. Am a maudlin at heart. When I fall in love, I give it my all. But then, anyone who reads these posts will probably already know that.
PS: Apart from the complex crap, there's good news: Karma passed his 'kindergarten' level of doggie training school yesterday, and Boy and I are quite thrilled!
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