Monday, June 26, 2006

Closetalk: Sexing the City UP!

Closetalk: Sexing the City UP!

I'll admit it: at first, I didn't get what the big deal was about Sex and the City. I mean, ok, so here you are, a gang of four women: the cribbing writer, the slut, the horsey powerbabe and the prudish cinderella, but so what? Then I spent three days watching Season Six on my laptop, and I was hooked. Line and sinker.

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Wafted into flatmate's room and told her how it was so completely a gay series, and she jumped in her seat, as she is wont to do, whenever I classify so-and-so as 'gay', etc.

FM: "Why on earth is Sex and the City gay, of all things? It's about women!"

CT, flitting over to the sink to try on apricot scrub: "O, please, it's wasted on women! Women don't obssess about things or enjoy them half as much as gay men do! And there's just soooo much de-lish male nudity! It's just picturised on women to be safe!"

FM: "You're hopeless!"

CT, happily, through walnut bits: "I am! But then, think about it! I can easily place all my gay friends there... and not just as either Carrie or Samantha or whoever, but as a combination of them!"

So, that evening, I sat on the computer and hunted out the Sex and the City quizzes available online, and decided to see which said what about me! As predicted, none of them came up with the same answer.

Quizilla, for instance, proclaims that I'm that gorgeous Slut, Samantha. I got on the phone then and assaulted designer/decorator, who completely agreed that with my sex drive and penchant for shock value when he least expected it, I could be no one else! And I must say, she was the one I was looking forward to being the most. That woman has profound insight into human character, some great nuggets of wisdom (and we're not talking about her boobs here!), and I can only hope to be as sexy and smart as she is! And yes, I completely adore her relationship at the end with Smith Jared.

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Another one whch agreed on the Samantha card was this one by Cosmo. This one was not about whether you were like any of the gals, but rather, who your style quotient resembled. It had all to do with: what would you wear to a gals' night out, or in our case, a GB party, and of course, I fitted the bill for 'curve hugging with skin show', which in my case means 'tight tshirt with nipples protruding'. There's also the fact that I'm the bubbly one in the group at these parties, the first one usually out on the dance floor, and that ties in what Cosmo says about Samantha: "encouraging other women to walk on the wild side without apology". Lucky for Boy that my idea of foreplay is "not printable!", my ideal date-dress is "matching gstrings and fluffy slippers", and lucky for me that Boy fits the bill of my "best love match: A man who can unlock your heart as well as your bra (= g's) with one hand - he dresses to impress, and wears tight black boxers underneath. "

;-)

Then there was a surprise by YNR, which said I was most like Charlotte. But then, when I heard their reasons why, I realised a part of me is quite like Prudish Cinderella. As the quiz said, I'm the Ultimate Romantic Idealist: "hurt in love before, but that hasn't caused me to give up on love, and if anything, the resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever." And as I realised, while giving the test, what was my main problem with dating? Hoping that things go smooth very fast - and that's as Charlotte as anyone can get!

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Crossing my fingers, though, cuz the quiz verdict also said: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)? Could be very serious - if you play your cards right! *wide grin on face*

And then there was Quizfarm, which said that I resembled that Mistress of Manolo, Carrie Bradshaw herself. Shouldn't really have surprised me too much, since I tend to worry about my relationships a trifle too much like her, and tend to gossip about them with my friends like her, and have writing ambitions like her as well. But, when push comes to shove, I would like to be Samantha, rather than Carrie. In the end, though, the quiz was not about who I would like to be, but rather who I am.

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Strangely enough, the quiz thought that, after Carrie's 75%, I'm most like Miranda, who comes in at a close 67%. And that's not only Quizfarm. There was this other quiz, perhaps the most comprehensive of them all, because it sees how much of me is proportionally like the foursome, and it concluded I'm most a Carrie-Miranda mix. I turned out to be 40% Carrie, 30% Mirandra.

What pegs me as Carrie? Well, there's the fact that I'm inquisitive like hell - I discovered my dad's porn mags when I was 13! - and am very much into Indecision and Avoiding Tough Issues - their language, not mine. I love to talk, and need my mate to be a good listener (thank you, Boy!), and I Exude A Quirky Charm, or so say the guys I've slept with. Meanwhile, much like Miranda , I would prefer to be Cautious In Love And Seek Stability - though, where a LDR comes in here, I frankly don't know! And yes, I have those Seething Career Ambitions.

Sultry Samantha finally comes in at this point, and contributes 20% with my leo fire sign. Enter the Thoughtless, Selfish and Audacious part, which gets caught up in Immediate Gratification. At odds with this, is my 10% Charlotte: Romantic At Heart, complete with that Boy who Completes Me and Tethers me to the earth when I get carried away with my fantasies. And yes, I Cry At Commercials And Sappy Movies.

After five tests, two phone calls, much giggling on the phone and many more comparisons, the material for this post was ready. This was going to be one of those Introspective ones. The ones where I stand in front of the mirror, and go swishing with wands to see what I'm like. Not many occassions to really do that when you're happy. Most people tend to do that only when they're in a purple funk, and that's not a great option. Naaa, this is way better. So, here, instead of The Big Apple, we have this Giant Train Line which passes off for a city, and instead of four rather unidimensional (now that you come to think of it!) girls, you have one very complex gay man.

Entry to the closet is free.

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