Last week, I found myself in a funny position as the Wise Old Sod on the mountain, when two friends came to me for Relationship Advice. That was actually scary. The strange situation that catapulted me to this position? - well, both my friends have opted for the rather circuitous and long-winded route to happiness - the Long Distance Relationship.
My good friend Chimneypot recently met a guy whom she calls Boo. It's actually amazingly cute, the fact that they call each other the same nickname - Boo. Boo, however, happens to live in saddi dilli, whereas Chimneypot is very much the Bambaiyya chick. Which thus leads her to think of me as the gospel on LDRs and how to navigate them. The other week, when Boo (the dilli one) was in town, all of us met him, and I was suddenly thrust into the role of the Parent, very similar to something I'd encountered myself earlier. So, I tried to put on my best Parent face - friendly and yet protective, and made the appropriate noises:
CT, clearing throat with hot chocolate at Barista's: "So (young man)... what is it that you do?"
Boo, grinning: "Well, I'm a journalist in Delhi, and I do scientific reporting."
CT, wondering whether I should ask him his 'prospects': "O, cool... is it... interesting?"
Boo, thinking to himself that this guy is a flake: "Ummm... er... yea, sure."
CT, harrumphing away his doubts: "So, you guys have known each other for... how long again was it?"
Chimneypot interrupts: "Chatting for almost three weeks now"
CT, eyes slightly widening: "Three weeks? That's... umm... fast!" (nervous laughter)
At the end, however, wisdom finally kicked in, and I realised that I usually sleep with a guy after knowing him for less than three hours - forget weeks! - and since the two of them are so obviously in love, I gave my blessings. Tathastu!
And then, there was the architect of my own 'Meet the Parents' episode, many eons ago. NatureBoy called me the other day, and informed me that he had fallen in love - and the object of his affections was another Delhi-based lad. So that led to another conversation about farway loves and what they entail - the problems of being in touch and the issues sex maniacs like NatureBoy and I have to face when faced with the prospect of a drastic cutdown in our sex skeds.
NatureBoy: "But how do you get by? I mean, not just the sex part, but the bonding part also?"
CT, nods sagely: "Aaaa, well... there's the phone and there's the internet chat sessions... I guess, there's nothing more you can do, but be involved all the time. Involved in his life."
NatureBoy: "I've got huge phone bills, and it's not been a month as yet!"
CT, recognizing similar financial problems: "You'll soon have to change your internet usage plan to a more expensive one also. And tell yourself, that it's acceptable."
NatureBoy: "What do I do?"
CT, with a patient smile: "Let yourself be. And stay in love."
Moronic advice to give, I admit. But I never actually said I agree with the idiots that I was the LDR expert. Hell, I'm the first one to admit that Boy and I, we're a growing phenomenon. It takes a lot of hard work to stay involved, and I'm not just talking about the phone bills here. There's the whole issue of being in touch. And sex... Fidelity... is a whole different ball game. We all want to stay celibate, and yet often don't turn out to be the romantics we wish we could have been. And while I would so want to know for sure whether they'll be able to make it, I'm keeping my own fingers crossed that I'm able to make it myself!
And that's the honest truth about LDRs.
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