Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Is it a Bird? A Plane? No, it's... SuperCloset!

Is it a Bird? A Plane? No, it's... SuperCloset!

Before losing my top on the Blog Ban by the Indian government, I was going to post about Superman Returns, which I saw last night at a decrepit South Bombay theatre. Horrible sound system and seats, but all that was more than compensated for by the movie. And yes, if you want to barf now, go right ahead, but I'm not changing my mind: Superman Returns rocks! And Routh is a SuperStar!

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And for all those geriatric dumbfcuks out there who think Chris Reeves was hotter: puh-leeeeeezze, get a libido! With all due respect to the Original Alien, he may have been cute for his day and age, but if you just compare him down there to the Greek God up there, it's clear that Routh has the goods where it counts!

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So, admittedly, this is going to be a Slurpy post. I'm going to slurp on and on about Brandon: his eyes, his smile, the way he amply fills out the blue tights, and how beautifully proportionate his red bulge is. O, God! and that chest. That chest and that insignia is enough to get a grown man swooning. (Which is basically what I'm doing right now.) Though the movie failed to live up to its expectations, box-office wise in the US, Playgirl magazine has offered Brandon $500,000 to expose his Buns of Steel. The really cute part is, how his publicist says he's a good li'l Midwestern boy and not very 'comfortable' with nudity - grrrrrrooowwf! All that gorgeous humility on such a gorgeous boy is breathtaking. ;-)

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Admittedly, I went into this movie with loads of inhibitions in my head. Almost everyone who'd seen it had warned me that it was overhyped. Midnight's Child cackled on the phone, "He should be called Superbaby, and not Superman! He's crying all the time!" And though I argued myself hoarse, that maybe the cry-baby impression was there simply because director Bryan Singer (of X-Men fame, another sexy hunk movie!) is gay, no one bought the argument. Even the newspaper reviews proclaimed: SR is not an action movie about Supe saving the world, it's about Super Trooper in blue tights crying after his lost love.

;-)

So, I made the jokes. Superman goes to save Metropolis, and what would happen if he gave a Super-Sneeze, eh? Bye bye, Lois Lane and city she lives in! Then there was the scene where Supe flies away after not kissing Lois: imagine how horny he must have been then - I guess that's what you call... a Super-jerk!

But apart from the silly jokes, it was a movie that I really liked. Not for its cerebral skills, but hell, if you're in the mood for a fun movie, a taste for popcorn and time to kill, head over to the chindi (Bombay slang for tiny/ miserly) old-world hall I went to, and spend 2 1/2 hours in the AC. And drool.

Mush Moment #1: Of course, it has to be the scene where Supe wafts up feather-light with Lois in the sky. That's been one of the all-time romantic moments ever since Superman movies were made, and Singer uses it so brilliantly here that even the straightest straight man goes oooooooohhhhhh! like a 13-year old gal with pigtails. Ask me. I watched the movie with one. *grin*

Moment that gave me Sadistic Satisfaction: Directly after the Mush Moment, actually. Lois the Hussy brazenly pushes her face forward to kiss Supe, and my favourite man in tights pulls away. Awwwww... that little scene warmed the cock-les of my heart. I love Bryan Singer.

So, this morning, when I spoke to the Boy on our daily long-distance phone call, I told him, his extra-corny boyfriend would henceforth add SuperBoy to his already-long list of nicknames, and would hunt for a blue thong with the S insignia upfront, to be ready and waiting for his next trip down to Bombay.

Boy's reply was standard: "You're nuts!"

So was mine: "You're super!"

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