Fling me a lifeline

Fling me a lifeline

I need a fling. A mindless fling to get over someone, once and for all. A time-pass thing. Something to be happy about, for a couple of weeks, and then to discard in the basket labeled Happy Memories. One night stands are okay, but they're not good enough. I need a no-strings-attached, no-nonsense fling, that leaves neither of us in doubt as to what we have here.

I'm in the hate-you phase. Not hate. Not hate. Hate is too strong a word. But the phase where any sight of him gets me thinking about us, and gets me seething at him. I think he was a coward. I'm angry, yes. Not hate. Just pissed off. I'm sorry, I can't be a friend. I thought I could. I promised him I could. But I can't. It's still too hard, and sometimes I wonder why. It was only a month or so: why on earth should I feel like this? Someone told me, it was because of the potential - because I felt the potential there. If we prolonged it, and then it didn't work out, I would have beeen okay - I wouldn't have thought so badly off him. What gets me is his refusal to try. And now, I can't be his friend. Not now. Someone told me, I have to hate him first, in order to be his friend. I'm not sure about that. I can't be in contact with him now. I can't see him. I can't hear him. If I do, I despise both of us.

So, I need a fling.

This wasn't the way this post was supposed to turn out. This post was supposed to be something light and breezy about me needing a casual fling with a casual guy... I wasn't supposed to talk about Nature Boy. I suppose I could delete this, but I won't. He may see this, but no, I won't. This is my space. It always has been. I invited him here, and even when things started unravelling, I told him that I may vent, that he should understand it. I think he does. And that's what makes things more irritating - the fact that he's a nice guy and I (kinda) like him. 'Kinda', because I'm in that phase now.