On Your marks, Get Set,... Go!

On Your marks, Get Set,... Go!

Apologies are due, first and foremost. Applemartini had mailed me the other day, complaining that my attitude towards speed-dating and those who take part in it seemed condescending and hypocritical. While I responded with several protests and disclaimers, it is also true that I still continued to regard speed dating as one of those strange phenomena that one indulges in, when one hits a mid/quarter life crisis.

That's where the apologies are due. To all of the people who have ever participated in it, and all those who plan to. Speed dating is fun. Exhausting, yes - but, undeniably, fun.

;-)

Welcome to this quaint little lounge bar in Andheri, where fifty-odd gay men are gathered. There's music playing in the air, and most of the guys are hanging around in their groups, yakking and eyeing other gay men in other groups. Enter CloseTalk and Kunal, who take their glasses of sherbet and stand at one corner, keeping to themselves. CT spies Cute Marwari With Goatee and they hug; then there's Dilli Bong. Ex-Ex Boyfriend is also there, and CT does the hugging and apologizes for missing XX's birthday, earlier this month. And, there's also Bangalore Doctor, whom CT had forgotten to call back on an earlier occassion. Outrageous flirting follows, in the downright wicked style that only Blore Doc is capable of, and CT promises to call back next time, when they meet for a rollicking hook up session. Air kissing is done. It's time to meet the 'acquaintances' now, and finally, CT summons up the courage to go over to the counter and register his name for the speed-dating exercise.

Gujju Man: "O, CT, how are you doing?"

CT: "Hey, Gujju Man, how's life? I haven't seen you around for ages! How's your Gujju Marriage Bureau for Gay Gujju Boys going?"

Gujju Man: "Just perfect! We have a wedding set up ahead for the [CT's birthday]."

CT: "Really? That's my birthday, you know!"

Gujju Man: "OMG! That's amazing!"

CT: "So, erm, erm.... I was wondering... how does this speed dating thingy work, Gujju Man?"

CT : "I mean - I was wondering about it and all, and you know that I can get plenty of guys anyhow, but I was still wondering, and Cute Marwari With Goatee was telling me about this thing and telling me to come, and though I find the whole idea very stupid - because there's no way I need to do something silly like speed dating! - I was curious - plus, I also wanted to help GB, and wondered whether there was anything to do, so I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could come by, I'm not serious about it of course or anything, it's all for fun and games, and so I thought I'd do it, but then it's silly, but then, do you have a form or something?"

So, I was embarassed. But then, you wouldn't have thought that, to listen to me talk to the boys/men/old men arranged before me. I was eloquency personified. One of the sexaholics touched his crotch when I sunnily asked him "What's up?", but then I rolled my eyes up at his gesture, and he got the point after that. By and large, it was decent, the guys were ok-types, and I was quite glad to see, when the results were declared, that seven of them had 'hit' on me, that is, wanted to know my phone number. Of them, there was one that I had wanted to get to know better as well, so according to the rules of the game, the two of us got each other's numbers. Cute smile, strong grip while shaking hands, nice voice, and wisps of chest hair curling at his throat.

*Slurp*