Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Live free?

Live free?

Living in the big bad city has its problems. Especially if you're one of the rainbow crowd. What's the ideal? I'm still not sure. So let me jot down a couple of experiences and a couple of complaints.

Case 1: Boy lives with family. Horrible situation (a) if you have a boyfriend, and (b) worse, if you're single and ready to mingle. That means you have all the drive, but no space in the car whatsoever. Tonnes of Bombay boys are waiting in the wings to move out of daddy's pad.

Variation of Case 1: Boy lives with extended family. So, while there's no momma and poppa in close proximity to dictate timings and people brought home, there's still someone who may leak back word, and there's still no hope of walking around the flat in your birthday suit. You call that freedom?

Case 2: Boy lives with straight room-mate. That essentially means a curb on things. The motto is: I must act butch at all times. I must drink beer at all times. I must make sure hook-ups are gone by the time roomie gets back home. I must make sure to have sex twice in a blue moon. (Just once is simply inhuman!)

Variation of Case 2: Boy lives in hostel. This is simply a stricter form of Case 2. There's a warden here as well, who, if gay fantasies are to be believed, is probably waiting to bed you as well! Scary thought.

Case 3: The Will and Grace scenario. Excellent, if TV is to be believed. But it gets awkward. Apart from the normal fact that gay guys get more sex than their straight female flatmates do (which may also lead to a fair share of jealousy!), there is the added complication that two sets of closeted parents are probably not at ease with the relationship, which is sometimes hidden from them. So, when Grace's parents come visiting from Jhumritalayya, Will may have to spend a week at an odd friend's house. Ghastly. There's also the strangeness in bonking, while knowing that Grace is probably chewing gum staring at the door, in the room next door.

Variation of Case 3: Some count this worse. Grace is now Gabriel, but Gabriel, the straight guy flatmate, knows Will is gay. That seems great for friendship and all that jazz, and perhaps is, with no sudden moving out required when Gabriel's parents come visiting, - but having sex with Gabriel in the next room is definitely weird. Plus, there's the worse scenario if Gabriel happens to be a real cutie, which means that Will may have a teeny-weeny (read: HUGE) crush on his flatmate. Soap opera begins.

Case 4: Will is living in with Jack. Two drama queens in place of one? That sounds like a recipe for madness, and it usually is. It helps, if Will and Jack have totally different tastes in men, but are completely in agreement about everything else, like crockery, curtains and condom types. It may get very strange for Will to introduce Jack to his conservative parents, though, if Jack is the flouncy type. Also, a formula for havoc, if Will and Jack fall in love together.

So, I've done my homework. So, I've overshot my target from "a couple of experiences" to four cases with three subcases. So, there's also the additional case of living in with your boyfriend. But, admittedly, I have to do more research on that front, before getting back to you.

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