The other day, I was chatting with a friend, and he was giving me relationship advice. Some of it was funny, and it helped cheer me up when I was feeling a bit low and uncertain of how things should progress. At the end of it all, however, he giggled and said, "Now please don't go and quote me on all this at your blog! God! Nowadays I have to watch what I say to you, or else I might see it all reproduced, with added masala!"
I laughed when he said that, but it struck me how true it is, at times. I use a lot of my conversations with friends here, which are often followed by phone calls lambasting me on the other end as to how I took 'creative license' to extremes. I simply find so many interesting points that surface out of these chats. Points that make me ponder and think, and some that just make me burst into laughter. There was this friend who told me the other day, one great point about how to keep your boyfriend. Quoting from Omkara, he said, mard ko hamesha thoda bhookha rakhna (keep your man always a little hungry), and though I always decried that games-gays-play attitude, I've had to agree with him and Father Time that just a little bit of play-acting around is essential.
The truth is: making love work is much harder than finding love - and we all know how hard that is!
On another note, and on another conversation, I heard a story about a failed date from both sides. A said, B had pushed his nose in and invited himself along for the ride, and so A was justified in ditching him and going out with another friend. B says, A invited him in the first place and then never bothered to call back. I sighed, and refused to let myself get caught in the middle here. I kept my mouth shut to A, and gently told B that since he had had sex with A the very first time he met him, he really should stop calling him and asking to do non-sexual things. Understand your sexual boundaries, and respect them.
It's strange, but true. I'm not sure whether it also happens in the straight world or not, but in Gay Bombay this is how it works: if you've had a hook-up with a guy, then the chances that it's going to turn into anything more, even anything remotely platonic, are slim. The guy's had sex with you, he's made up his mind from the start that you're sex-material and not friend- or relationship-material. It doesn't matter how good a chemistry you shared while rocking the bed (or the kitchen counter, or the desk, or the couch, yadayadayada) - he doesn't want to have dinner with you and go on a date date the next day. I've seen it, and I've done it, too.
Unless you both decide in the middle of the hook-up itself, that you better stop the hooking up, and meet later on for a real date - like Boy and me.
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