I was all set to blog about last Saturday's GB party at Velocity and my antics with the umbrella (OK, so it didn't quite make it to the front page of The Pink Paper, but hey, you had to be there!), until exactly two minutes ago. That's when I came across this profile of a guy on G4M which says, how this guy has worked on a cruiser, so he's met loads of hunky hot men, but now, he's looking to settle down with a guy. Nothing wrong with that, you might think, so what in the devil's name has made Closetalk get his thongs into a bunch?! Well, what bugs me is the damn tone: yea, yea, I've been hot and kinky when I was 24, but hell, now that I'm 28, I figure I need a captain to man my loveboat to shore, so rather than get eaten by the hot 'n' hungry sharks, I'd prefer to harpoon a nice solid whale who'll make sure that I'm cosy and dandy and all my emotional needs are taken care of! It's the tone I'm talking of: after I'm 28, I need to be serious and settle down.
Hell, you might as well get down to start scripting the gay version of Kyunki Sass Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, in that case...!
Apart from my personal bug, let's just examine the issue from a different light.
(A) It basically subscribes to that silly view of 'Gal, you can wear all the miniskirts and jeans you want before you get hitched, but once you tie the knot, it's kumkum for your hair and kanjeevarams all day through'. Now, there are actually people who buy that theory, but I've always figured that, hey, being gay automatically forces you to be non-conservative. You can't subscribe to that theory then, can you?
(B) It implies that younger guys don't hanker after relationships - that it's only when you're (gasp!) 28 that you decide that you 'should' find a (ahem, ahem) Life Partner (capital letters, please note), and that's downright untrue. I've known plenty of clingy eighteen year olds, who're quite willing to run away and get married as soon as you finish screwing. Then, again, there are loads of 28 year old, 35 year old, hell, even 45 year old and older, for whom, Marrrage With A Gay Guy (again, capital letters) is the punchline of any joke!
(C) The illustrious and most wise Brian Kinney once told his errant schoolboy lover that "Gay men stay together because they want to be, not because they have to be. It's not in them to be that way." Now, I'm not a 100% fan of Mr Kinney, though a quizfarm exercise did say that I'm a perfect mixture of him and hard-to-miss Debbie (gahhh!), but sometimes, he does make sense.
To tell the honest-to-goodness truth, I don't know too many gay couples who've stuck around. Even those who I thought were rock-solid split up, after spending 5 years or so. That's a very real worry that all gay men who are seeking relationships have to deal with - hell, that's something I've agonized over and over myself. That's why, this simplistic logic: now that I've hit 30, I'm going to start looking out only for relationships, this logic smarts of idiocy to me. Not that simple, dude, not that simple. If you're meant to, you're gonna get lucky when you're 19, and if you're lucky again, you might get it at 52. NO shelf life for gay men - don't believe what the queens gossip in the GB loos.
PS: O, and when I told Boy about how I used the umbrella at the GB party, he smirked and said, I'm to use him as my pole/umbrella next time I wanna perform. *blush*
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