Last week, I was on a fact-finding mission. So I cornerd my friends wherever I could find them and asked them that tricky question: Do you find your ex sexy? Which one? came the reply, and I retorted Any; do you find any of your exes sexy, and would you sleep with them/him?
The result: everyone has an ex they are still attracted to. But not everyone would sleep with him again, for fear of complicating things all over again. SnowWhite's Stepmother sighed and said, the one he still found sexually attractive was the one whom he detested the most, so there was absolutely no chance of getting in bed with him again. Emily said much the same about his two-week crush who broke his heart. And Hotelboy said his ex in Delhi was hunky as hell, and he would simply love to get down and dirty with him, but....! Ah, that fateful 'but'...!
What seems stranger, though, is the larger number of exes we don't find sexy anymore. I mean, these were the guys you shared starry dreams with, spent long nights of passion with on wet sheets, woke up in the mornings with to smile 'good morning' to, so there should at least be some teeny-weeny remants of lust... and yet, there's not. If it's true that most gay men go for Looks, with a capital L, then at least the Looks factor should ensure that you still get a rise in your pants when you spot your ex - and if it doesn't, what does that mean? That he's let himself go to pot after you guys broke up, which means that your relationship meant a whole lot to him than either of you expected? Or, that you didn't fall in love with him because of the Looks factor after all, so you're really not that hot a playboy you imagined yourself to be? Or, some completely different reason I can't think of?
In my case, I find only one of my exes attractive - SalsaBoy. The others are discardable: First Love has two many freckles now and is clingy like hell on the phone when he calls up (which is quite icky!) and besides, I can't stand his guts; Fashionista who came next looks hideous these days and was always woefully inadequate in the 'member department': if they're right on Size Doesn't Matter, then in Fashionista's case it's all immaterial; Ex With Paunch's paunch is simply too grotesque presently to get a 'rise' out of me in any way; and while NatureBoy may still be cute (ahem ahem!) there's been an unfathomable fullstop to my sexual interest in him - I think it went away when he snipped of his beautiful curls. So that only leaves Salsa Boy.
SalsaBoy is sexy. The other day, he emailed me his latest snaps - seductive ones of him in a shower stall, water droplets dotting his skin, skin gleaming in the yellow light, muscles looking good enough to eat, yadayadayada, and I got turned on. Very much so. I emailed him back, and informed him he still has that effect on me, and we both laughed in cyber space. I'm glad we share this easy relationship - glad that we can still be friends and advisors. I've spoken to him so many times about Boy and my work, and he feels close enough to confide in me as well. And the fact that we're both sexually atracted to each other?
Aaaa, well...
Would I sleep with SalsaBoy again? The sex was always good. Better than good. The answer to this one is: I would. I would, if I were single again. This blog is all about honesty. Do I regret not being able to sleep with him, though?
Aaa, well...
Have you seen how sexy my Boy is?
*grin*
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